December 22, 2009
Rams clip Wings 6-3
It was a much-to-close affair for two and a half periods. In fact it was tied 2-2 in the middle of the second. But then quick goals by Dean, Amos and Billy put the rams up by 3. Colin added his second of the night in the third. Bake also scored, in the first.
There are some plans shooting around for the Winter Classic. Matt and some guys are thinking Pour House. Art and others are headed downtown. Discuss ...
Our next game is Sunday, Jan. 3. at 9:10 pm. vs. the Bandits. We need some A-league victories, boys.
Posted by aetchells at 11:52 AM | Comments (0)
December 14, 2009
Thunder Rains on Rams Parade
The Rams continue their struggles, dropping another game in their division 6-3. The first period was one the Rams would like to forget. Thunder struck 4 times to the Rams 1. The second was better, putting the Rams within 1. Bake scored his second of the night and Bern fed a gaping wide open net. Chances were there in the third for the Rams, but they couldn't get close enough. Out of gas with a short bench, the Rams gave up an empty netter, too.
Good news on the horizon: Sunday at 6:10 vs. the Wings. Who's on beer duty?
Posted by aetchells at 12:43 PM | Comments (18)
December 03, 2009
Rams Dent Knights
The Rams won 6-1 over the Knights last rainy night. Carter scored early on a bomb from the blue line, Bern had one, Goal-in had 2, Dean 2. Back at it Sunday vs. the Blades at 2:50. Bring your party shoes and chopsticks. The Murph's B game follows and then off to Wanger's for some Poo Poo and meat on stick!
Posted by aetchells at 12:29 PM | Comments (7)
November 23, 2009
Rams Bounce Back Against Blades
Rams came charging out of the gate Sunday afternoon, controlling the play, pace and momentum from the first drop of the puck. In a most unconventional three on one break, Bake soloed with a blistering slapper from the right wing just over the blue line, beating Blades goalie to the inside far post. Leaving linemates Dean and Bernie to ponder whether their roles had been diminished on the first line.
Bake lit the lamp again with a similar blast from the right side and Bernie took advantage with a short handed bid, closing out the first period with the Rams leading 3-0.
Blades got back in it, shifting momentum in the second, scoring once. But the real story was the penalties. Rams killed off a 5 on 3, and faced six short handed situations to the Blades one, during the evening. Colin manhandled his way into the box twice, once for a defiant tossing of the Blades defenseman to the ground, yes that is a penalty.
Blades pushed the score to 3-2, with a powerplay goal in the 3rd, but with better line changes and less sloppy play, Rams created a host of scoring chances. Shoup lubed up the puck and snuck a wrister from the slot under the goalies right armpit to close out the scoring.
The fourth period proved once again that the Rams are a two case team. Snap fell short on his forecast, or perhaps hadn't anticipated a 3 line locker room, and a half dozen Ramers convened on Big Headz for a bakers dozen worth of High Life's, at least that was the count when I left.
Rookie out......
Don't get on the rookie, Flood got the report submitted in good time. There was a registration problem with the site this morning that had me behind in uploading it.
Posted by aetchells at 11:47 AM | Comments (5)
November 20, 2009
Rams on the crapper (so is the writer)
The Rams remain winless in their division this season after falling to the Penguins Thursday night, 2-1. There was a lot of pushing in the first period but only gas came. The bowl remained unfilled through the second, but Billy finally made mud with 6 minutes left in the third on a shortie. He picked up a loose puck from Dan's heroic shot block and skated in to beat goal-out through the craphole. Kev Mac and Jenks would make deposits for the penguins in the remaining time. Thirsty Goalie did his duty, not doody, but the Rams couldn't get the tie-er.
The Rams look to wipe the season clean Sunday vs. The Blades at 4:10. Snap is on beer duty.
Posted by aetchells at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)
November 09, 2009
Rams Answer Tough Questions
There were many questions to be answered Sunday as the Rams faced defending CML-B champion Murphy's B squad. One: will they have enough beer to compete with Murphy's B? Two: will they have enough youth to compete? Three: will they have enough players?
Art supplied the beer. Beer supplied the youth. And thank goodness, Bernie, Kane, Golin, and Kratzer didn't play for Murphy's instead of the Rams. Although everyone was wondering if it would be better just to fly to Vegas to visit Leo.
Goat opened the scoring for the Rams in the first, but Hippie would tie it up at 1 -- pounding like an ironworker - with less than a 10 seconds left in the opening stanza. Murphy's B went up early in the second 2-1 on a goal by Farrell before the Rams got their act together to finish the second period up 6-2.
Murph's made a push at the end, getting within 2, but the Rams won it 7-4. Highlights included a 3-point night by Dan, and 2 goals apiece from DK and TS for the Rams. Horger, Farrell, Bryce, and Wochok scored for Murph's.
BTW -- Not sure who won the 4th.
Posted by aetchells at 08:46 PM | Comments (3)
November 02, 2009
Waiting for Jello
The Rams lost to the new look WC thunder last night 3-2. Similar to the Phils, the Rams tied it up late in the 3rd period with a slapper from Amos. A questionable interference call negated a late Rams power play making it 4-4 for the last four minutes. The Thunder cashed in, keeping the Rams winless in their first 3 games. A better effort overall, but the Rams better hope things gelatinize sooner than later.
Posted by aetchells at 10:03 AM | Comments (4)
October 26, 2009
Sunday Service
It was Sunday, and the bretheren went faithfully to the Church of Frozen Fourth Periods. Unfortunately this was not a Sunday to rejoice as they took their lashings, losing 8-3, in a skate through the valley of darkness. Light did shine on TS, who scored a shortie in the first period to tie it at one. The Bandits would score another and went to the second with a 2-1 lead. Hell reigned down in the form of bad bounces as the Bandits scored 5 in the second. Dean and Dave tried to for salvation with a goal apiece, but it wasn't enough.
Be ready to repent next Sunday at 10:40 pm vs. WC Thunder.
Can the Leonards boys bring beer?
Posted by aetchells at 07:53 AM | Comments (12)
October 19, 2009
Rams drop season opener 3-1
The Rams came out like a teenage boy on prom night versus the Penguins Sunday. All their effort came in the first period and they had nothing left for the after party. Colin scored the Rams only tally in the opening stanza on a nice feed from goat. The Penguins played well, keeping the Rams from getting any real chances in tight. The Rams hope to gain some stamina this week and get their first win versus the Bandits Sunday 10/25 at 4:30. Amos is on beer duty.
Posted by aetchells at 02:04 PM | Comments (1)
April 06, 2009
Penguins Win WSL, A-Train Strips
Penguins win another overtime thriller, defeating the Wheat Kings 8 to 7 on a Hoagie breakaway goal to take home the Reinl Cup. A-Train ran naked around the parking lot holding the Cup. Video to come.
Murphy's B and C teams are facing game 3s in their finals. Murphy's B won 6 to 3 to force a game 3 while Murphy's C lost in a shootout and face a deciding game 3 in a week.
Posted by aetchells at 09:19 AM | Comments (12)
April 01, 2009
Pens Win Game 1
JENKIN'S BRAIN - Pens win 6-5 in overtime. Hockey Bob gets the game winner. Nothing pretty, just a backdoor pass off a rebound. We were winning 5-4 with 2 minutes left and then we had a huge brain fart after a neutral zone faceoff. Overtime format is 5 minute overtime peroid followed by shootout (????)
Posted by aetchells at 09:34 AM | Comments (4)
March 27, 2009
When the Game takes a Backseat
The Rams extend their condolences to the Leonards family. Carter and Bake lost their sister to cancer Thursday just prior to the Rams faceoff against the Wheat Kings. The Rams didn't fare so well either, losing their rubber match 6-1. The Rams old 11 - counting Kev of course - did their best, but the Wheat Kings posted a 2-0 lead in the first. Bern popped the peanut butter off the shelf to get the Rams to 3-1 in the second. The Rams wouldn't give up without a fight in the third ... well, maybe like two school girls fighting over the last two pieces of Now & Later taffy ... as Goat and Teri did a whole bunch of swing and miss dancing. Congrats to the Wheat Kings and Penguins as they faceoff for the Reinl Cup.
Note this: there has not been a repeat champion in the five years that this league has existed. Oh, and special thanks to the Rams rookies, the only two guys under 30, for their dedication to not showing up.
Posted by aetchells at 02:33 AM | Comments (20)
March 22, 2009
Rams Crunch wheat Thins 4-1, Look to Game 3
It was on from the drop of the puck Saturday night as the Rams hit the ice in game 2 of their opening round series vs. the Wheat Kings. Bake opened the scoring early, followed by Colin and the Rams carried a 2-0 lead through the first and nearly all of the second. The Wheat Kings scored late in the second and had intense pressure midway though the third, causing Kev to call a T.O. It worked. Bake got the next one and Matt hit the open net on a fade shot from half court.
Game 3 is Thursday at 9:00 ... that's 9:00 pm on the dot. Note the time.
Posted by aetchells at 06:42 PM | Comments (9)
March 02, 2009
Rams lose 2, look to regain confidence in final game of the season
It's been and up and down year for the Rams. Most recently down with a two-game skid, losing by one goal to the Blades and by a pair to the Penguins. Assured a playoff birth by Dean's right-brain arithmetics, the Rams still want to win this Sunday vs. the Continentals at 4:30 to regain their form. The Rams also want some beer volunteers.
Posted by aetchells at 04:24 PM | Comments (5)
February 12, 2009
Rams Slow Wheat Kings
From the desk of Bake
The Champagne (of beers) would be flowing regardless of the outcome of the battle betwixt the Rams and Wheat Kings Wednesday night in the noted slot of 10:30.
The Rams jumped out in front in the first to a 3-1 lead with goals from Dean, Bake and Shoup. A goal by Amos and a Wee-a-Wheet Kings goal left the score at 4-2 headed to the third. After a couple well placed “Come on boys!” and “Let’s goes!” the Rams saw the score knotted at 4’s with about 8 to play. Looking for any oxygen left in the rink the Rams did not hit the panic button and it was but Amos, once again, hitting the twine behind Halligan on a one-timer to put the Rams up for good 5-4. (Somebody’s shooting percentage was down on the night ((but you would never guess who(((because He never talks about it)))).
When asked about the game Amos responded, “You know, I put my pants on in the morning just like you, one leg at a time. But after they are on, I score game winning goals. No big deal.”
In another note: apparently there are still people who live over there in the 4th and so it goes, not blowing the game and not getting arrested….now that’s, living the High Life.
Posted by aetchells at 10:22 AM | Comments (4)
February 09, 2009
Huh???
we're waiting.....
Posted by aetchells at 05:11 PM | Comments (8)
January 29, 2009
Rams Leapfrog Into 3rd
Today's summary is by Steve B., proving a Temple education is a fine education.
Nineteen is not a jokester
Carter owes me soap
There's your damn haiku, boys. Last night, the Rams ripped roaring (alliteration: thank you, thank you) out of the dressing room in search of the two points that would put them back in the playoff picture. While they won, many speculated later that they wasted their most intimidating warm-up of the season on a six-guy bench. Vainly, the Continentals spent the majority of their warm-up stretching and preparing the defibrillator. Though no Continental was seen using said defibrillator, several Rams reported that #19 seemed to be hyperventilating for most of the evening. With devastating precision, the Purple Machine rolled on to tally six on the board while feared New Jersey street-rat Kevin Dowell recorded his first shutout of the season; later, #19 challenged the legitimacy of Dowell's shutout saying, "Aaaarrrggghhh! I should have had that one!" While everyone off the Rams bench made notable contributions, analysts later agreed that Bake Leonards stole the show, making 2+ passes in the offensive zone and taking out a referee that is reported to sustain an injury in nearly every game over which he presides (a rare case when Bake's Messier-esque vision and awareness on the ice failed him). On a more somber note, or should I say sober (hey-o! #19 could learn a lot from me), the Rams management neglected to inform the arena that their team is a two-case team, as the zam-jockey put an early end to the Rams victory celebration (the Rams' gesture of a cold one did not phase Moral Orel's conviction). No doubt, someone in the Rams' management lost their job over that one; maybe the Continentals will pick him up. Anyway, the Rams seem to be getting hungry as the playoffs approach. And, unfortunately for a couple of unmentioned opponents, Rams love to eat formally-dressed arctic birds that can't fly and nutritionally-sensible baked wheat snacks. Until next game, farewell comrades.
Posted by aetchells at 09:27 AM | Comments (4)
January 21, 2009
…And The Rams Raged On
As told by Mr. T Sprinkles
Executing a near win with seconds to go in the third, the Rams unleashed their four-legged fury on the flightless Penguins. The Red Rocket, fueled only by beef and wine slapped in two while Mr. T. Sprinkles managed to extend his scoring streak to two games by tallying a deuce. Rookie Garrulous Instigator finished one and strong man Bake Leonards rammed the innocent puck with a ravenous thrusting motion, aggressively sliding it into the tight white net, tying the game at 6-6 with only seconds to go.
The Penguins tallied several sloppy goals but justified their effort by maintaining the tie late in the third.
Asked where this new spirit came from, senior correspondent Justin Time referenced the magical powers cast upon the team, stating, “Their leader, Dean the Gnome, manifested his magical abilities and cast a fun spell upon his teammates”, he went on, “This, I believe, is the answer to the teams success”.
Team spokesman Angry Burns simply suggested that the magical powers were a fluke, but pointed out the effectiveness of wearing a fanny pack on one’s waist.
Burns explained, “If you don’t have your fanny pack, what are you going to nibble on”.
A source close to the team states that while Burns does wear a fanny pack before, during, and after the game, it does not interfere with his range of motion. The fanny pack allows Burns to store a cache of bacon, his keys and shower supplies, as well as a few rolls of tape close by in the event of an emergency.
“You can rest assured knowing that this fanny pack serves its purpose, “stated Burns.
Some dissenters suggest that the placement of the fanny pack does affect Burns range of motion and this is what causes him to miss the net so often.
Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, a wearer or a non-wearer, it appears the Rams have once again sharpened their horns. Regarding the teams continued success, Dean the Gnome was not able to summon his powers of clairvoyance, but forward Mr. T. Sprinkles guaranteed that, “Labatt and Molson can be certain it will involve our continued support and Thor falling off of and rendering useless Bighead’s barstools”.
Posted by aetchells at 08:13 PM | Comments (10)
January 05, 2009
Rams face disciplinary action following 9-1 loss
I will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
i will not make fun of terri
Next game, and name spelling lesson, Thursday 1/15 at 10:40.
Bern and Bake are on beer duty. DK is on getting enough guys to fill the bench.
Posted by aetchells at 12:57 AM | Comments (5)
December 17, 2008
It's Always Good to See your Friends!!!
Red Rocket picks up the first goal and the game recap.
As it begins, before the Rams could even become accustomed to their game used, professional, cloth tape compliments of the Philadelphia Phantoms, were losing to the Continentals 3-0, only 8 minutes into the first period. RR got the Rams back into it with a rising slapshot from the top of the goaltender's crease loosening the deficit to 2 goals, however, the 1st period ended, with a score of 4-1. That's when “OUR” friends showed up.
Colin came strolling out of the locker room, the refs were ready to throw him in the box, but he hadn't touched the ice yet. As Colin sat on the bench, he said hello to Golin, Heron and Dave K. Colin, eagerly jumping on the ice for his first shift 4 minutes into the second period, slammed home a twisted wrister 15 seconds later. That was the spark the Rams and Friends needed. Bobby Abreu (Heron) collected hats from ice for his personal collection and “Goal-in” added 2 assists. The Continentals had 20 shots, Dave K had 13 saves and a goal. Rams and Friends come back huge and win, 8-5!!!
As the champagne (of beer) began to flow for $2 a bottle at Big Heads, Bake and Golin took up rest and relaxation on the stools at the end of the bar. Seeing these strapping, buff men, two women (the kind of women who would love to drop down and get their eagle on the bathroom floor in Lagerhead fashion) approached seeking their seats to play a calming game of Female Nude Photo Hunt. As they and the remaining Rams played this classy game, records were set, laughs ensued, and naked women were examined. Half way through the third round, the two women stopped, laughed, took out the cell phone cameras, and started taking pictures of the current, nude lady. “What are you doing?” roared Amos. Their response......................
“That is one of our friends!!!”
It's Always Good to See your Friends!!!
Posted by aetchells at 11:01 AM | Comments (7)
December 03, 2008
Bingo, Bango, Bongo. I (Rams) Win!!!
The Jive Turkey begs off today's game summary and hands the reigns to the idle hands of RR.
It was the night of a 10:40, the kind of 10:40 that Generals plan for, the type that inspire nicknames, but more importantly, the night was a symphony of trichotomy that leaves us all with stories for generations. This 10:40 vs. the Blades, was the night that the Rams had 5 roughing calls in the third period, yet not one on PIM Leader. Yes, this was night of battles, leading to the end of a war.
Bingo – Bingo is accepted by the Blades, who on the shoulders of a new goalie (a really good goalie, but not Kevin or Wanger good), beat the Rams in a snoozer by the count of 4-1. There were some some bad passes, bad shots, lots of pucks out of play, but Bake scored.
Bango – Bango is accepted by the Rams, who closed the rink again and won the fourth period. Knowing the boys from the Blades had to return home to finish their Social Studies homework before homeroom tomorrow, Kevin, Dan, Donte, Pete and Whitey entered the fine beverage establishment only a stone's throw away; where they were approached by a fine young gentleman who, according to his hat, roots for Major League Baseball. This young man took to Dan, and now, Dan likes Patron. “It's smooth!!!”
Bongo – The tie breaker, the rubber match, the attachez le brisant simply goes to the Rams. Trumping Colin's bare anus on a locker room bench after a shower where children will play during the next Saturday or Sunday birthday party, was a hit that shook the foundation of Wintersport Ice Arena and nearly collapsed the putrid insulation on the ceiling that holds many of RR's shots from the point.
As Amos crossed the red-line with 2 minutes left in the 3rd period down 4-1, the remnants of a Gary Dorhoefer, circa 2005, between period analysis encompassed his mental capacity. “Good thing happen when you put the puck on the net”. Amos gingerly floated the puck inches from the rafters towards the opposing teams goal, there wasn't a sound to be heard. Shhhh............
“Hurry up Vern!” proclaims Gordie Lanchance during the bridge scene of Stand By Me as they are crossing a neutral zone of 500 yards of rushing water on a bed of wood and steel. Eerily, birds fly off in the distance, Gordie leans over, feels the track, and screams, “TRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!” They run as fast as possible, jump off the tracks a split second before being obliterated. Teddy Duchamp claimed it to be the “best train dodge ever”. During the final minutes of the Rams game, there was no train dodge and; the train got Gordie!!!
As the puck started it's descent from the rafters, one could see birds flying off in distance, then a gentle rumble of steel accelerating, grinding through frozen neutral zone, growing louder and louder. The heavy set score keeper jumped from up her seat in slow motion and yelled; “TRAIN!!!!!!!” This time, their Goalie, their Gordie, decided to face the train head on. Steel ripping through ice to the left, steel ripping through ice to the right, Bake farted, then a half of an instant of pure, calm gliding.... and Gordie was hit. Gordie joined the birds that had flown away only moments earlier as he was propelled into a quadruple spin and half flip merely nine feet off the ice. As Gordie landed upside down, in almost complete unconsciousness, Kierstan Railroads proclaimed......................
BONGO BITCHES!!!!!!!!
Posted by aetchells at 08:37 AM | Comments (16)
November 24, 2008
Wheat Kings Expand Dominion
It wasn't bad enough that the Rams didn't have pre-planned beer duty (thanks for picking up the slack Art and Brett) they blew a 2 goal lead against the Wheat Kings. Who? Right. The team that was 0-5 till a week ago. Anyway, it started with Kev withstanding an onslaught in the early first. The Rams regained control and Dan broke the ice to give the Rams a 1-0 lead. Then Carter had a heatseeker for the Rams to go up 2-0. And the Rams totally dominated the second period ... 'cept for a coupla posts and missed opportunities (ahem, Dean). Speaking of (ahem, Dean) a turnover at the beginning of the third led to the Kings first tally and the Rams never regrouped, well, not enough to get TS to break out the goal horn. Better luck next time, which happens to be December 2 vs. the Blades.
Beef and Beer Saturday. Eat, drink, don't tell Mary.
Posted by aetchells at 08:58 AM | Comments (2)
November 21, 2008
There Are People Who Live Over There
Halligan, fresh off a Murphy's 4-0 shutout Wednesday night, helped the Rams with a 6-5 win over the Continentals. Goat scored two and like Bruce Jenner (not Chase Utley) deserved to be on the box of Wheaties. The 4th period had to be broken up by the Police.
Next up is the Wheat Kings at 6:10 on Sunday, who by the way, beat the Bandits 12-4 last night. Are you in?
Posted by aetchells at 09:19 AM | Comments (18)
November 09, 2008
Catch 2-2
Rule 298: If you're going to kiss someone, make sure it's not your sister. Unless, as it was Sunday for the Rams, your sister is hot. Translation: Rams score two late in the third to tie Bandits 2-2. It all started innocently enough. The Rams came out hard. Then Sprinkles missed his target. PiM Leader missed a tip in. And DK took a shot to the heart, giving love a bad name. The second period saw Dan hit two pipes. Speaking of pipes, Kev held the Rams in it. Then with about 5 mins left in the third, Arty fed Dan with a nice slappass for the tip-in. DK took the check from behind and gave the Rams a PP. The Bandits took a TO. It was all very exciting, believe it. Right till Carter said not to worry about pulling the goalie because we were going to score. And, he did.
Rams vs. Penguins Sunday at 4:30. Hopefully the Zam will fire up on time.
TS has one case. DK the other.
Posted by aetchells at 10:10 PM | Comments (4)
November 03, 2008
Rams Dull Blades 9-3
Maybe it was the Phillies rush, or a Sunday where they weren't hungover, or just sheer will ... but the Rams came out flying against the Blades scoring 5 in the first, one in the second, and 3 in the third. The Blades did show some signs of A-league play netting 3 of their own on a few Rams breakdowns. (Hey, Kev needs work, too). The two-case rule played out well in the fourth ... which brings up beer duty. Bernie and Dan. Next Game Sunday vs. Bandits at 2:45. E-A-G-L-E-S PHILLIES!
Posted by aetchells at 01:55 PM | Comments (0)
October 29, 2008
Dan gets the trick, Halligan gives a treat
It was a historic night for the Rams Tuesday as they chased the Wheat Kings starting goalie by posting a 6-spot in the first period. The second got a little tighter as the Wheat Kings debuted their back-up goalie and everybody's favorite eagle scout Halligan. The Wheat Kings even threw in a Rams ghost from the past, good ol' "I don't pass or drink" Terri. In the end, it wasn't enough. Rams put in 3 on Halligan for the 9-3 win and held Terri to maybe one assist and a bunch of sissy complaints to the refs. Dan had the trick plus an assist to lead with 4 points. Cart had two. MVP continued his 2-game streak. And PiM leader got his minutes at the end just to keep in shape. The Rams are now 3-0 and look to the Blades Sunday at 2:45. Don't forget to set your clocks back and reclaim that hour of sleep. Also post it here if you're in.
Beer duty goes to the brothers that prefer their middle names.
Posted by aetchells at 09:00 AM | Comments (13)
October 19, 2008
Rams Re-write Recipe for Success
Used to be that having enough guys, getting a goal from our defense, and a ton of saves were enough for a Rams win. Today, MVP spiced it up with a secret ingredient: have your lady friend's father come watch you play. Yeild: 2 goals for Matty and a nice 5-3 win over the Bandits for the Rams. Sporting their new green uni's and symbols from every nation (but ours), the Bandits found themselves in a 2-0 hole in the first period thanks to goals by Bake and Amos. The Rams then faltered a little allowing the Bandits to tie it before MVP tapped one in to make it 3-2. Val got his customary PP goal in the third to tie it. The rams shortened shifts but couldn't shorten PiMs, and were shorthanded again in the middle of the third. Goat took an offensive zone face-off and won it right to MVP's tape. A quick snapper and the Rams never looked back. Bern smoked the open netter.
Next game, October 28 (next tuesday) at 9:00 pm vs. the Wheat Kings. Bake and Amos on Beer Duty.
Also, for those that are not at the full $350, ante up in the next game or two please.
Posted by aetchells at 10:14 PM | Comments (7)
September 29, 2008
Rams Roll Late
It was by most accounts what you'd expect from a pre-season game. The shots were wide, the rebounds kicked further than normal, sticks weren't tied up, the pace dropped off quickly. But after Amos rocked the Wheat Kings goalie's head the floodgates opened and before you knew it the Rams had transformed a 5-5 tie into something like an 11-5 rout. Also of note were Colin's 4 goals and Shoup's broken skate. Get better skate.
Posted by aetchells at 05:10 PM | Comments (17)
March 21, 2008
Rams Drop Game, Series To Zebras
The Rams season came to an end last night as the Zebras scored midway through overtime to win 3-2. The Rams outplayed the Zebras for much of the night but a late onslaught by the Zebras, who outshot the Rams 15-5 in the third, proved too much to withstand.
Watch this space for an April Pour House party and Wiffle Ball World Series at Bern's.
Posted by aetchells at 02:36 PM | Comments (19)
March 17, 2008
Rams Drop Game 2; Get 2nd Chance to Clinch
They got the seed they wanted, but didn't get it to grow any Sunday night as the Rams dropped game two of the three game series 5-2. The Zebras came out buzzing in the first, glad to get a chance to be back at 0-0 after the Rams 6-3 game 1 victory. The Rams held their end strong in the first 10 minutes or so but the Zebras struck first and never looked back, scoring 3 by the end of 1. Shoup made it 3-1 in the second after beating everybody twice, but the Rams didn't, capitalize on the momentum. Goatsbro got the rams to 4-2 and the tide seemed to change. The Rams powerplay was clicking but couldn't fire - at least on net.
With a two case performance in the fourth, the Rams didn't seem too worried. after all, game three is Thursday night at 9.
who's in it to win it?
Posted by aetchells at 02:23 PM | Comments (16)
March 10, 2008
Game one win; here's the spin
Tired and ready for bed, I'm giving the brief version instead
Zeebs scored first, but their goalie is the worst
Rams scored the next four, before the Zeebs added two more
It was 4-3, but the Rams didn't worry, making it 6-3 in a hurry
Game 2, Sunday 3/16 at 7:20, let's score more goals a plenty.
Posted by aetchells at 01:31 AM | Comments (26)
March 03, 2008
Rams Drop One To Pens
Rams lost 2-1 to the Pens in the nightcap on Saturday. It was a back-and-forth affair for the first period till Kev Mc scored on a nifty snapper in mid 2nd. Heron retaliated for the Rams in high fashion splitting the D. A quick bad angle passhot found its way in to the Rams' net less than 2 mins later to put the Pens up for good. Wang gets number one star.
in other league news, Conts beat the Bandits 9-7 or something like that. Bandits looked weak defensively and their goalie needs to see lots of pucks in the playoffs.
Rams next game is Tuesday night, 9:00. that's this Tuesday.
in?
Posted by aetchells at 09:44 AM | Comments (12)
February 25, 2008
Rams Rattle, Hum To Victory
Rams won 6-5, with the game winning goal coming from a point blank blast from Amos with :20 left. Rams went up early and led 2-0 before letting the Zeebs tie it at 2. Rams would lead 5-3 before the penalty fest started in the late 2nd and throughout the third. the game was tied at 5 with the Rams chancing the win in the last 5 minutes before Goat dinged the goalie's bell and Amos got the rebound. Kev did nicely with close to 40 shots.
word is, Penguin meat tastes good. let's eat Saturday at 8:50 pm usual table.
Posted by aetchells at 04:51 PM | Comments (0)
January 31, 2008
Rams beat Penguins, no reaction from PETA
It was the best of times (Rams were up 2-0 by the end of the first and never looked back). It was the worst of times (the rink dude booted us before we could finish the beer). But, all in all, it was fun getting another victory against the old flightless foul 6-3. RR had 2, firemon 2, shouperman 1, and mvp 1. not in that order. speaking of order ... Rams are tied for third with the Conts, two points from first. 4 games left.
Posted by aetchells at 02:36 AM | Comments (33)
January 21, 2008
Missing: Rams That Remember What It's Like to Win
Please return smooth breakouts, concentrated effort, smart forechecking, and goal scoring to www.philadelphiarams.com.
Bandits 6, Rams 4.
Posted by aetchells at 02:31 AM | Comments (8)
January 13, 2008
drink this one in ...
there was a young man who drank michelob
he scored three goals for the night
the others on his team
didn't have any steam
and lost in a way that bites.
there was a viking named thor
who knocked on the door
he played some d
and brought bottles of glee
we're all glad he came for sure
the score was 5-4
and i won't say much more
'cept the bandits are next
so don't be perplexed.
Posted by aetchells at 12:39 PM | Comments (10)
December 31, 2007
Oddities abound in Rams/Bandits Game ... mostly
First ... hockey at wiss 3:00 new year's eve. and now this ...
Wintersport -- PT Barnum would've been proud tonight as the Rams opened the scoring early in the first period with one of the oddest goals this season as Kierstan popped one up and over the back of the net and off the goalie's back. 1-0 Rams. Not so odd, though, was that the Bandits rebounded to go up 3-1 at the end of the first. Less odd, yet, was that the Bandits were up 5-2 going into the third.
The Rams came back with a handful of powerplay goals to pull within 5-4 with about 8 mins remaining in the third. OK, well maybe there's nothing odd about that either. And maybe there's nothing odd about Val's 150mph blast that put the bandits back up by 2.
By the way, bandits won 8-6.
Posted by aetchells at 10:20 AM | Comments (6)
December 16, 2007
Pop Quiz
Multiple choice. this should be easy.
If somebody says to you: "I'm gonna shoot it at your face." You are:
A) Having a bad dream where you are a women in a porn film.
B) Having a nightmare where you are a man in a porn film.
C) A referee talking to the berk bros.
Rams win 4-1. Golin scored 18 seconds in. Kierstan played tidley winks with Captain Crunch to make it 3-1. Bake got a shorty in the 3rd to cap it off. Kevin kept the second period from going the wrong way.
Posted by aetchells at 10:07 PM | Comments (7)
December 11, 2007
Drink This, Thirsty Goalie
It was a tight game. in fact the Rams were down 2-1 in the second period. Then, a tough angle goal by Heron, and soon after Amos blew the lid off the water bottle. Bake hit a one-timer at full strength and Bobby Abreu tacked on a few for good measure at the end. Inexpungable spanked the mint lifesaver, too. the result, an 8-2 win. not to be outdone by firepower, Kev gobbled up his fair share and even got a friendly tongue-lashing at the end by the Conts biggest threat.
next up, Penguins, Sunday at 4:30. Bake's on the beer.
Posted by aetchells at 08:18 AM | Comments (14)
December 03, 2007
Zebras on Endangered Species List
It looked like the last place Zebras had found their grove against the Rams last night taking a 2-0 lead in the first period. They tested Ram's netminder - Kevin if you've forgotten - quite a bit till Bake got a shortie early in the second. And it wasn't the kind you get at Wawa.
The Rams netted 2 more to go up 3-2 before the Zeebs tied it late in the second on a dandy one man effort. Note: there are 5 jockstraps in lost and found. It looked like old times late in the second and early through the third as the Rams penalty box played host to a number of unsatisfied customers. There is no confirmation on whether or not the one ref indeed got "a ride home" from any Zebras.
No worries though as the clock struck 10:15 pm and the Rams put the lights out scoring 4 in the last half of the third. Sorry, MVP, that nice backhand didn't count.
next up: Sunday 12/9 vs. Continentals at 8:30 pm. we need some redemption on this team.
Posted by aetchells at 09:52 AM | Comments (3)
November 25, 2007
Renaissance Weekend for Rams
Lock up your wives and send your daughters to the convent, Thor is back on the ice. Making his debut on jive turkey day then following it up with a solid performance in the Rams game Saturday, it looks like the viking is here to stay. sorry val.
Also performing a rebirth of sorts was the rams' offense, finding its stride against the Blades with an 9-4 win. Lots of goals by lots of guys - including late heroics by Heron and Bern who combined for 3 goals in the last 5 minutes or so.
And lastly ... thanks to Billy and Hoagie for putting on the Beef-n-Beer. Another fun night.
Posted by aetchells at 09:54 AM | Comments (2)
November 15, 2007
Rams Slide Continues
It was an exciting game. Like watching America's Funniest Home Videos thinking that maybe, just maybe, that wiffle ball won't hit that guy in the nuts.
Anyway, the Rams lost 3-2 to the Penguins. It was a tight contest. so much so that i don't care what the lead changes were at this point.
Posted by aetchells at 07:42 AM | Comments (12)
November 12, 2007
Rams Can't Cross Continental Divide
The Rams sunk another rung on the ladder Saturday night getting spanked by the up-and-coming Continentals 10-5. In a nutshell, the Conts out-passed and out-shot and out-skated the Rams in much of the second and third periods, after the Rams couldn't convert on a few chances in the first.
Next up ... Couple line-up changes and the Penguins.
Wed. 9:30.
Who's in?
Posted by aetchells at 10:08 AM | Comments (13)
November 05, 2007
Rams take first loss of season
Kevin made a lot of saves. The Bandits' goalie didn't. Usually that would be a recipe for success. In this case ... not so much. The Rams failed to mount any sustainable offensive pressure losing 5-0. No sweat, it's happened before. On a high note, Thegoatsbro and Shoup were in attendance. Oh, and the fourth was good until the last drop.
Next up, Continentals, Saturday 10:30
Golin's on beer duty.
Posted by aetchells at 07:03 AM | Comments (7)
October 29, 2007
Rams roll to 3-0-1
Eagles and 'Boys. Yanks and Sox. Rams and Penguins. We're talking rivalries here. And the Rams put it to the Penguins in the first, second, third, and fourth - although i think the Berkery bros won the fourth late.
The Rams had control through the first, going up 1-0 early on a goal by Carter, then 2-0 midway through when MVP shoveled one in from in front. Note: MVP also posted a gold medal performance in his beer duty with 2 cases, ice, and garbage bags.
In a race for the PIM title, Amos took a well-timed penalty in the early part of the second, and the Pens took advantage. Jenks won the faceoff back to a Berk and that was that. He sent a slapper through more traffic than you'll see on the AC Expressway Memorial Day weekend.
Another Note: The Penguins were somewhere around 99.9% on faceoffs.
The Rams took control back in the third with a timely goal by Colin and one late by the Turkey.
Next up: Bandits, Sunday at 9:00.
Posted by aetchells at 10:12 AM | Comments (13)
October 21, 2007
Zebras get "baked" in 6-4 loss to Rams
Bake was quiet as usual in the locker room following the Rams 6-4 victory over the Zebras. No doubt though, with his inside voice, he was saying "Even strength goals are fun, but I scored 2 shorthanded goals on one shift." And then, after a sip or two of Labatt's ... "Carter, you can suck it." Not to be outdone, Carter managed 2 and an assist, with Keirstan getting the game winner.
Next up: Penguins at 8:30 pm Sunday. Will Robby Mel make it? Stay tuned ...
Posted by aetchells at 11:44 PM | Comments (10)
October 14, 2007
Game Recap: If you want to call it that.
Put it on DVD, sell it to the Kleb bros. The Rams posted a sister-kisser on Sunday in their 2-2 tie with the Bandits. Goals by Heron and Golin led the way with Kevin doing a bang-up job in the third to keep things as they were. Speaking of bang-up, let's hope Heron's wrister off the back of Kevin's knee heals by Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday or even Sunday when our next game is (2:45).
More importantly, Party at the Pour House Friday night. $20 beer and food from 8 till 11. Bring your lady friends. And your other friends.
Posted by aetchells at 09:28 PM | Comments (3)
October 08, 2007
Rams Win Opener
It was the Rams defeating the Continentals 4-3. Details will be filled in with the comments.
Posted by aetchells at 10:40 AM | Comments (20)
April 04, 2007
Some More Pics
Posted by aetchells at 07:13 AM | Comments (2)
April 02, 2007
Some Pics From the Bar
Colin gets penalty for holding
Posted by aetchells at 10:36 AM | Comments (10)
RAMS WIN, RAMS WIN
Defense win Championships, especially when they score two goals.
Rams win the A-league CML at Wintersport, beating the bandits in the final game 2-1. It was a classic match-up between the team that scored the most goals in the regular season (bandits) and the team that gave up the least (rams).
Goal'in and company came out firing on all cylinders in the first period to set the bandits up for destruction. A pressured but patient forcheck by snap, mvp, and dk made the bandits turn it over to carter at the point - who walked it in and sent an nhl-caliber blast to the left upper 90.
Period two took forever as both teams settled in for the long haul ... that is until Amos tucked one in the rigth corner from a nice feed from goal'in on the PP.
The bandits managed one late in the second before they felt the freeze of the rams defense, offense and all non-sense just shutting them down.
P.S. the rams killed a lenghty 2 on 1, not mention a 6 on 4 in the last 1:18.
It was an awesome performace by Kevin in net, who was outstanding all playoffs and season long. Even the refs gave him the game puck. And special thanks to carter and amos for their blasts from the blue line.
Also, the sixth-man award goes to Jones, who got in the russian's head somewhere between Moscow and Kosovo.
Next game ... sometime next september.
Pics to come.
Posted by aetchells at 02:55 AM | Comments (21)
March 29, 2007
There's Life on Planet Rams
The old saying is "win as a team, lose as a team." Well, the Rams proved Wednesday night, they don't have much interest in losing as a team. After going down 2-0, the Rams battled back with three unanswered goals before heading into overtime tied at 3. Rob Mel scored just over two minutes in to the fourth stanza to push the series with the Bandits to another game.
The Rams got a solid performance in net, too, as Kevin posted 35 saves. And with goals from each line, plus one from the defense, it looks like the Rams are back to their balanced attack.
Rubber match Sunday at 6:40.
Posted by aetchells at 12:48 AM | Comments (12)
March 26, 2007
Rams Drop Game One
Three first period goals by the Bandits were too much for the Rams to overcome in a penalty filled game one of the Wintersport CML Championship.
The Rams were jumped on early as the Bandits scored just fifteen seconds into the game. By the time the Rams had gotten their equilibrium they were down 3-0.
The second period was a parade to the penalty box as the majority of the game's 18 penalties were called in the middle stanza.
The Rams tried to make a go of it late but couldn't pull it closer than 5 to 3.
Game two is Wednesday night at 8:20. Thirsty Goalie will be providing the refreshments.
Posted by aetchells at 03:19 PM | Comments (11)
March 18, 2007
Zebras vs. Bandits - Game 3
| Zebras2 | Final |
| Bandits | 5 |
Posted by aetchells at 11:34 PM | Comments (1)
March 16, 2007
Rams sweep; Contintentals Weep
Despite spending more than a period on the penalty kill, the Rams managed a 3-2 win and series sweep of the Continentals Thursday night with goals from DK, MVP and Amos. Some might say that the game wasn't as close as the score ... and maybe they're right. After all, DK missed a couple breakaways (surprise), and Goat missed an open net, with :52 to go. But why rehash all those bad memories ... We won and we got the finals coming up. sometime, someday. Like two Sundays from now.
Finals schedule:
Sunday March 25 at 2:50 pm.
Wednesday March 28 at 8:20 pm.
Sunday April 1 at 6:40 pm. No "april fools", eh.
Also, get your spring league skates in if you can, Thursday nights start 3/22 at 8:45 for Rams/Pens/Etc.
Posted by aetchells at 09:28 AM | Comments (8)
March 12, 2007
Golin scores two in regulation; Nicole two in the 4th.
It was a tight scoring affair for the Rams playoff opener vs. the Continentals. The Continentals opened the scoring 10 minutes into period one after dominating most of the first 10 minutes. the Rams gained momentum and puck control and ended the stanza 1-1 on a goal from "PIM leader", with an assist to Amos. PIM Leader, by the way, was PIM-less tonight. nice work.
The Rams took the lead late in the second on a goal from Golin, who's looking to claim the playoff scoring title -- with no empty nets needed. the Rams put together a string of solid shifts and tight forechecks when Golin, Heron, and Dean completed a three-way play, ending with Golin in front, scoring 5-hole.
The Continentals struck with 6 mins left to tie on the PP, only to be thwarted by Golin's second tally of the night coming at 1:00 left. Carter blasted a shot off the back boards and Dean shoveled the rebound over to Golin who stuffed it 5-hole, again.
Kevin was solid in net, especially in the last :45 when Amos thought it would be more fun to watch from the sin-bin.
Next up: Continentals, Thursday at 9:00 PM. Game 2.
Posted by aetchells at 02:33 AM | Comments (14)
March 05, 2007
Scoring Title
Down to the wire ... the Rams scoring title could go to Dean with the unassisted empty netter in Sunday's game, or it could go the always-battle-ready Golin. awaiting final results from Bernfire...
Posted by aetchells at 07:58 AM | Comments (2)
Rams Beat Zebras/ Get 2nd In Tiebreaker
Despite A-train's Sponge-Bob-sticker worthy performance against the Randits in the nightcap, and the rams come-from-behind win against the Zebras in the day game, the Bandits held on to first place thanks to their tie-breaker head-to-head advantage over the Rams. Nonetheless, the Rams enjoyed sending the Zeebs back to the zoo.
After going up 1-0 in the first 15 seconds, the Rams gave up 3 straight only to score 5 unanswered - with a beauty by Golin on the PP and two clutch tallies by MVP. DK iced the win with the empty netter, his second of the night.
Clear your schedule for the playoffs, It's gonna be a fun ride.
Next up:
Sunday 3/11 at 4:30 vs. Continentals.
Thurs. 3/15 at 9:00 vs. continentals.
If needed, Tues 3/20 at 8:00 vs. Continentals (duh.)
Finals
Sun 3/25 at 2:50
Wed. 3/28 at 8:20
if needed Sunday 4/1 at 6:40
Posted by aetchells at 07:43 AM | Comments (5)
February 25, 2007
Bandits Get Away With One
The Rams put in a full days work Sunday with only 7 guys and a special guest appearance in goal by Yashin. After falling early by 2-0, the Rams fought back on the heels of Turkey's 3 goals and a last minute effort by Art and Golin to come within 6-5 in, well, the last minute.
Tied in points with the Rams, the Bandits lead the season series 3-2 and should both teams win-out the Bandits will win the tiebreaker. that is, if they both win out. if we can beat the Zebras and the Bandits lose, we're in first.
see you Sunday at 2:45.
Remember to clear your schedule for the playoffs.
Posted by aetchells at 09:40 PM | Comments (8)
February 19, 2007
Rams win 5-2, Kevin Ties Thor for Points
It wasn't pretty -- that's what the 4th period is for -- but the Rams edged the Continentals 5-2 in their final meeting of the regular season. Carter led the way with 2 goals, followed by Colin, Heron, and Shoup. Kevin's 20, 21, or maybe even 22 saves were impressive, but not as much so as his assist (a rebound) on Carter's end-to-end tally. The assist, his 3rd of the season, ties Thor. Thor plays with a regulation stick.
See you Sunday at 2:50 for the final match up with the Bandits. Sponge Bob says, "Set The Tone!"
Posted by aetchells at 10:26 AM | Comments (5)
February 12, 2007
Recap In Form Of Haiku
In honor of Wang's new headgear, a Haiku ...
"Everybody hits!"
Rams win big six to zero
Game Sunday 6:10
Posted by aetchells at 08:07 AM | Comments (11)
February 04, 2007
Feel the Bern
The Rams won the game against the Bandits last night 5-3 on an open netter. But in doing so lost Bern till next season, after his achilles tendon was severed by a skate early in the first period. A freak accident, the Bandit blade hit Bern right above his boot and cut him pretty deep. the question still remains "where's the chunk of flesh?"
Thanks to Tim and the crew, we got him to Abington ER faster than Jonesy can say "yeah, look at d'at bumba clot, man"
Bern goes under the knife today (sunday) about 2:00. Said he'll check in monday/tuesday.
Posted by aetchells at 01:33 PM | Comments (21)
January 26, 2007
Rams Vs. Zebras: A Short(ened) Story
There it was, a small light contrasting the black sky like jive turkey on a Germantown sidewalk. And there, next to that light was the determined Kyle. Sitting in the offices of Yashin BackHair Pad Co., Kyle was sad-faced. For if his friend Amos had only worn the #3 SoulSweater Supreme, he wouldn't be nursing a possibly fractured scapula today. And the game wouldn't have been cut short following the rubarb that ensued after Amos was cross-checked into the boards by #13. And the rams could have won 10-3 instead of 5 to 3. But, "hey", Kyle said aloud. "Maybe I can sell a whole bunch of my Hairback Pads to the Rams now. And Bernfire can embroider them with real backhair stitching." Not all is lost. Well, the Zebras lost again, and that's always good.
Posted by aetchells at 09:53 AM | Comments (11)
January 18, 2007
Rams lose and get angry with MadLib.
The (adjective) Continentals took advantage of the (adjective) Rams last night. Final score 4-2. Kratzer took a (noun) at the blueline, and missed the bus back to (place). Meanwhile (color) faced (noun) from the UP blew a (noun) and missed periods 2 and 3. He now needs to see a (person) about a (thing) being replaced on his Tuuk. Whatever that is.
It could have been worse, though, but the (expletive) centerman from (adjective) Ohio managed to supply 24 (noun) from (place) that (adverb) affected the need for (verb). Not sure how the (people) made out in the fourth period, but rest assured all (noun) were reserved for the (adjective) drunks.
Next game, Thursday. That's one (expletive) week from today.
Posted by aetchells at 09:20 AM | Comments (10)
January 15, 2007
Penguins Win 4th With Mini-Keg, Rams Win First 3
Call it what you will, but the Penguins finally played it cool in the 4th period with a mini-keg ... and even respectable participation at Big Tits (oops, i mean Big Heads). But it was the first three periods, on this post-Eagles hangover Sunday night, that may propel the Rams to first place. A place they aren't really familiar with. but that's another story. Like that time when the girl did the thing with her whatsy-whosy.
Anyway, Andre put the Pens on the board early. and by early, we'll call it the first shift in. Then the Rams answered with goals by Carter and Shoup. Rams led the first 2-1. Both teams swapped goals in the second. It's hazy, from the keg, but the third period started out 5-4 Rams. the Pens did tie it at 5 but couldn't manage to score on a 4:00 double minor, and a full 2:00 on the 5-3.
The Goat's Bro got the GWG, and a little redemption. Special Guest star: Denny Weiser.
Next up: Continentals Wednesday. This Wednesday. 9:30.
Colin, Carter are out. anybody else out?
Posted by aetchells at 09:39 AM | Comments (13)
January 08, 2007
A Win-Win Situation
Rams win 6-2, Eagles win 23-20. All is well. Although it could be even better if Thor figured out how to use his camera during the 4th period.
2 goals by Heron.
Goal'in had another with two assists.
Amos popped one in to give Kev an assist
Colin scored on a breakaway, and I think their goalie is still reeling
And MVP strutted his stuff with a goal
Not sure how else it broke down but put your points in the comments. speaking of breaking down, Snap sent the Zeebs goalie to the hardware store to buy a new gasket. seems he blew his after getting a little snow in the face.
Next game Sunday at 9:00.
Posted by aetchells at 12:23 AM | Comments (6)
December 28, 2006
Z-Moses
Posted by aetchells at 11:49 AM | Comments (2)
December 27, 2006
R ... B ... P ... 2-1 on G by Z
'Nuff said. other than Hockey Bob-Laden's melt down and Kevin's Stonewall Jackson on Carmen. Oh, and goals by Jones (of course) for the Pens and Heron for the Rams.
And a healthy 4th P by A
Z you at the next game sunday the 7th.
New Year's Eve skate 2:15 on Sunday at Wiss.
Posted by aetchells at 08:35 AM | Comments (8)
December 21, 2006
A Poem
Twas night before Thursday and all through the rink, the Rams made the Bandits smell like glove stink.
First it was one, and then it was two. by then end of the period it was 6, that's true.
Thor scored a pair, and didn't have to beg because it was Turkey, MVP, and Snappy that laid the egg.
By the end of three, there was plenty of glee. it was 9 to 1 and even the refs were stunned.
Do this against the Pens they said, and Hoagie might wind up shitting the bed.
Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight. would anybody say that Thor and Val had a fight?
Posted by aetchells at 10:44 AM | Comments (10)
December 15, 2006
Rams win; Snap challenged for Nickname
Two goals by Shoup, recently off the baby reserve list, and one a piece by Billy, Golin, and Amos led to a W over the rival Continentals last night. But, despite the game's early excitment and strong finish late, the real entertainment happened right around the middle of the fourth period when Carter almost ate the corner of the locker room bench after snapping his woody.
Next game is Wednesday vs. the Bandits at 9:30.
If you can't wait that long, there's a skate Sunday night at Wissy. 9:15 pm.
Posted by aetchells at 01:15 PM | Comments (4)
December 10, 2006
What's That Smell?
Hmmm, it smells like shit.
But it's a bed. beds don't smell like shit.
They do when you shit beds.
Oh, so the Rams shit the bed.
Yep.
2-2 tie.
See you Thursday vs.the Continentals.
It counts.
Posted by aetchells at 11:11 AM | Comments (6)
December 03, 2006
New-look Rams see same old from Penguins; Token pays a visit, too
With Heron in the line-up and Amos on the blueline, the Rams took on a new image. They even got a check in the win column to prove it, beating the arch-rival Penguins 5-3. if anyone doesn't believe it ... ask the Token fan. (btw, does that raise our attendance total to 3 this year?)
Scoring opened early with Turkey only partially fanning on pass from Snapper, followed by Billy and Carter. By the end of one, it was Rams 3. Penguins 0.
Bumba banked one off Kevin's skate to give the 'guins hope midway through the second, and followed it up with 2 more on the night. All raising the question, can anybody else score over there?
Heron got the gwg, and Colin the empty netter.
Apologies if the details are hazy. I'm having a hard time remembering what happened between the wheezes.
next up:
Saturday 8:50 vs. Blades. Our only cross-over game. Shoup has beer duty if he can make it.
Posted by aetchells at 11:23 PM | Comments (16)
November 27, 2006
Pizza and Beer Cure "Tie Depression"
There's a lot to say about the Rams 5-5 tie with the Zebras Sunday. But after after a trip to Big Heads for pizza and pitchers who has the energy. So, the Rams were down 1-0 after the first period in a pretty even contest. Carter decided that the defense had to score goals, so he went on a nice end-to-ender to tie it at one early in the second.
About a minute later it was 4-1 Zebras. And six minutes later - when the forwards got in on the act - it was 5-4 rams ... thanks to goals by Billy, Golin (2) and Carter again. Golin's came with .2 seconds left. Rams took the lead into the third period, and survived a full two mintues with the two-man disadvantage, only to give up the tying goal with :30 left.
Next game: Sunday vs. Penguins at 4:30.
Posted by aetchells at 11:56 AM | Comments (3)
November 20, 2006
Tell me if you've heard this one before ...
Wintersport - Period one, Rams outskate and outplay Bandits to end the period tied 1-1. Period two, rams take a few penalties but no real harm. Outskate the Bandits but passing and shot selection are suspect. Rams now down 3-1. Bandits complete more passes than the entire NFC in the third and go on to win 5-1.
"Yo, I've heard that one before."
Posted by aetchells at 09:14 AM | Comments (3)
November 12, 2006
The Game That Never Was
Watch TBS tonight at 8 pm. The Wizard of Oz. Listen closely as the flying monkeys, modeled after Kerry Fraser with their perfectly coiffured gray hair and striped unis, take to the sky. they sing a song ...
"Giant holes in the ice" they say in the first verse. "Doesn't make your knees feel nice," goes the second.
The refrain ... "Game canceled, i say. Come back and play another day."
Next up - rematch vs. the Bandits Sunday at 6:10. Bring your USA Hockey registration please.
Posted by aetchells at 11:59 AM | Comments (1)
October 26, 2006
Snappy turns 36; Kratzer not invited
With a full bench, two cases chilling in the room, and a chip on all 30 shoulders, the Rams had a party on the Continentals last night winning 5 to 1.
Shoup tallied late in the first wanting to make an impact on the game before his wife hit the labor and delivery ward. Kevin held the Rams in the second as the parade to the penalty box ensued, followed by a parade of goals by Carter, Fire, Z, and Dean - who put the icing on the birthday cake by deflecting a wrister from Snappy.
Speaking of icing ... Kratzer, in the midst of his historic comeback, was a healthy scratch and Baker's run for the Tiger Williams PIM trophy was put on hold as Rob Mell and Arty visited the box.
Next games (schedules are in):
Sunday, 11/5, at 6:10 pm vs. Bandits
Saturday, 11/11 at 10:30 vs. Penguins
Sunday, 11/19 at 6:10 vs. Bandits
Sunday, 11/26 at 2:50 vs. Zebras (post B&B)
Posted by aetchells at 09:24 AM | Comments (4)
October 22, 2006
Shorthanded Rams Drop One To Zebras
In the end it was the short bench that did in the Rams as they dropped a tough one to the Zebras 5-2.
The Zebras led 2-0 after one before an Amos laser wrist shot put the Rams on the board. A second power play goal by the Zebras got them their two goal lead back.
Part way through the third Amos tallied his second and the Rams pressed before finally succumbing to another Zebra goal. The Zebras added an empty netter leaving the final at 5-2.
Next game is this Wednesday versus the Continentals at 9:30.
Posted by aetchells at 12:12 AM | Comments (0)
October 16, 2006
Too Scared To Show
Saturday night the Continentals were so fearful of the Rams only four of them even had the guts to show up.
But the Rams weren't too proud to take the forfeit win. Interestingly, this is the second time in three years at Wintersport that the Rams first win of the season was by forfeit.
Posted by aetchells at 08:50 AM | Comments (0)
October 09, 2006
Rams Drop Opener
Despite a late Goat goal to get within one, the Rams failed to tie the game in the last three minutes, losing to the rival Penguins 3-2. Both Wanger and Dowell looked solid in net, and both teams played good D despite having only 3 defensemen.
Next Rams game is this Saturday 10:30pm vs. Continentals,
Golin has beer duty. The new home Jerseys will be ready!
Posted by aetchells at 12:01 PM | Comments (6)
April 02, 2006
It's Over
My mom was really happy to see us all there.
My wife's friends are the best.
The extra sleep will make the switch to daylight savings time come easier.
Meanwhile Rams drop a tough one to the Bandits 5-2. The Bandits broke a two-to-two tie with less than 30 seconds to play in the second and never looked back.
Posted by aetchells at 11:48 AM | Comments (7)
March 29, 2006
Rams Stay Alive
Rams win back and forth battle with the Bandits. An offensive outburst by the Bandits and the Rams in the first period saw the Rams leading 4-3 after one. The second period more closely resembled playoff hockey as neither team was able to tally and the scoring chances were limited. In the third the Bandits scored twice to take the lead. The go ahead goal set off goaltender Kevin Dowell as he felt he was run by the Bandits mustached Russian forward. Rams defenseman Thor certainly gave the Russian a shot, but Kevin's point was "the guy made no effort not to run me and went right for my head." It could have been lights out for the Rams at that point but a pair of power play goals and the relentless play of the Rams forwards, particularly the forecheck of Billy put the Rams back in the lead. The game winner, by Denny was a sniped laser from the wing that left the Bandits goalie with no chance. Robbie Mel scored an empty netter to ice the win. If the Rams can field three lines on Saturday captain Deaner is confident they can wear down the Bandits and successfully close out the series.
Posted by aetchells at 01:51 AM | Comments (13)
March 27, 2006
Time to Regroup
The Rams skated into Sunday's showdown with the Bandits full of confidence. But that confidence was quickly tested as the Rams were out of sorts right from the get go. Uncharacteristic turnovers and odd-man rushes ruled the day as the Bandits won by a solid 7-3 margin.
The Rams are confident they'll get back on track Tuesday night as they face a do or die game at 10:40 PM. Also of note will be in Thor can get Val out of his fourth game in a row.
Posted by aetchells at 01:12 PM | Comments (10)
March 23, 2006
Rams Finish Regular Season With a Win
The Rams finished out the regular season with a win against the Zebras last night. Dean Kline scored twice powering the fast-gelling Rams to a 5-2 victory. The Rams finished the regular season at 12-5-4 for 28 points. A far cry from last season's disappointing win total of what was it? Six?
Icings: Denny's empty netter pocketed him the team scoring championship, he finished a point ahead of Golin.... Lady Byng nominee, Carter finally was called for a penalty giving him 46 minutes less than Colin.... The real season begins Sunday at 4:30 as the Rams face the Bandits for the third time in four games. Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Posted by aetchells at 11:29 AM | Comments (9)
March 20, 2006
Disastrous First Buries Rams
A rusty Kevin, and a patchwork defense spelled disaster for the Rams last night as they surrendered seven first period goals to the Bandits on their way to a 8-4 loss. With regular defensemen Aldo, Colin, Carter, Snappy, and Shoup all out of the lineup the Rams were forced to play people out of position and call up Steve from Murphy's. It did not work out well as early turnovers wound up on Bandits sticks. Perhaps the worst of which was a puck squirted out between the hash marks where a wide open Val was able to pick his spot and blast the puck by a helpless Kevin. "Not much you can do about that other than apologize to Kevin and skate to the center ice dot" said a dejected Art. Art the only regular defenseman in the lineup was able to continue one good streak as he got Val tossed from his second straight Rams/Bandits showdowns.
Also of note was Bender's continued scoring prowess as he notched his fifth goal in just three games. Kratzer scored his first goal of the season, which also pulled him ahead of Kevin in the scoring race. Speaking of scoring races Chris is holding on to the scoring lead as he and Denny were even in the points department last night.
Last regular season game is Wednesday night as the Rams take on the Zebras.
Posted by aetchells at 09:55 AM | Comments (6)
March 05, 2006
Goal Bender
Kevin Bender and the rest of the Rams went on a goal scoring barrage against the Brewers Sunday afternoon routing Swayback Mountain and company 13-1.
Bender scored a hat trick and Denny pumped in seven points as the Rams came out and decisively dealt with the B League's Brewers. Denny, who's goal is to catch Chris in points by the end of the season took a big step towards that with two goals and five assists.
The Brewers were basically offensiveless except for one lackadaisical play at the end of the first period. But Kevin was more than OK with the goal against after he got his second assist of the season, tying Dave Kratzer in the scoring list.
The game also saw the return of Carter whose slapshot didn't seem to have missed a beat. Next game is in two Sundays against the Bandits.
Posted by aetchells at 11:19 PM | Comments (6)
March 02, 2006
Icebreakers
Colin has gone two straight games without a penalty.... When you take into account Yards games, Zdaldo's goal was the third he's scored shorthanded this year with Art in the box.... Denny has scored in four straight games after his Continentals stumble.... Rams are undefeated in four and earned five of six possible points against the top squads in the A League.... Rams are the only A League team that is undefeated against the B League....
Posted by aetchells at 11:29 AM | Comments (8)
Rams Beat Bandits
Glenside — Long known for their innovative tactics in team marketing, Rams brass this week unveiled a new strategy for play in the 4th period. The crux of the effort, said a somewhat bewildered league president P. Croce, is coming into the locker room with a win under their hip-padded belts.
“It’s remarkable, this new strategy, because the Rams have never had a problem in the fourth period,” said Croce added. “I mean, why change a good thing?”
Win or lose, there have been plenty of times that rink staff has had to ask the Rams to leave. There have also been times when the mighty mights had to get their daddies to say there is another game to fellas. So why the change?
“Any time you can spank a Bandita, or ram it to a Zebra, it makes the beer taste better,” said Rams’ leading goal scorer and Philadelphia Rams 1,000th comment contest winner, Chris. “I can’t wait to taste one after we go baby penguin clubbing.”
Executives at Big Heads, Ram official bar sponsor, also said that he was happy to see that the Rams 4th period is as important as the first 3. “It’s good to see these guys taking the whole night so seriously.”
Last night, the Rams put the philosophy to test with a 4-2 win over a disjointed Bandits team.
Things started ominously for the Rams as Kevin Dowell arrived late, thinking the game was a 10:40 start. It didn't help that one of the first shots he faced beat him under his pad. Luckily a lost contact gave Kevin and the Rams a chance to regroup and get a warm up at the end of the first.
The Rams and Bandits exchanged goals in the second setting up a huge third period. And as the third stanza began the Rams stuck with their game plan forcing the Bandits down low and working a strong forecheck. After Thor stood up the Russian Val, the distracted Russian went after Art and left just one defenseman down low. It was the Rams who took advantage, sticking a shot behind the Bandits goalie. With the game tied the Bandits came out swinging as is their custom. But the Rams stuck with the program, knowing the beer would taste better if they just stayed the course. And they were rewarded as Zdaldo picked off a cross ice pass during a Bandits power play and went end to end, burrying a shot under his former teammate.
The Bandits didn't quit, coming at the Rams with a renewed if misplaced vengeance, they wound up hurting themselves as Val was ejected for ripping the helmet off a turtling Art, who Val had strangely taken to calling Sponge Bob. "I knew I should have been concerned, I've heard the stories, but it's hard to be intimidated by a guy calling you Sponge Bob," commented a still amused Art. With Val out of the game and a five minute major on the board the Rams were able to ice the game and get onto the oh so important fourth period.
Posted by aetchells at 10:37 AM | Comments (7)
February 28, 2006
Rams Let Leads Slip - Settle for Tie
The Rams are going to have to find a way to hold on to leads if they want to make noise down the stretch of the Wintersport Cup Men's League. The Rams were unable to hold onto three separate 2 goal leads.
The Rams offense was lead by the tandem of Denny and Shoup that as Penguins forward Jon B. remarked "really gave them a new dimension" who got things going for the Rams. Shoup took a pass on the left wing from Denny and was able to squirt one through Wang. Denny then scored his first ever against Wanger and would have had a second if it weren't for a great glove save right off a faceoff.
The familiar line of Andre, Jones and Carmen got the Pens back even before the Rams took back the momentum and their two goal lead, only to watch it evaporate late in the game.
The Rams extended the lead back to two as Chris scored on a nifty move and proved the sun, waves and women of Costa Rica agreed with him. The Rams second two goal lead lasted a couple shifts longer than the first but Phil's change up in the third pulled the Penguins back within one. A deflection of Snappy's point shot put the Rams up two for the third time. But then the Penguins came storming back with Carmen and Kevin scoring in the last five minutes to tie the score at five.
The Rams have played well in their last two and if they continue on that pace according to goaltender Kevin, "the way we are playing we will finally beat the Bandits on Wednesday."
Posted by aetchells at 08:54 AM | Comments (1)
February 20, 2006
Rams Notch First Against Zebs
With more than twenty goals out of the lineup Sunday it looked to be a difficult battle for the Rams against the Zebras. But every game between these two has been difficult. Each game over the past two seasons had been a single goal or less affair.
The Rams came out quickly from the opening faceoff, batlling through the Zebras typical barrage of slashes, hooks and crosschecks. Shoup scored midway through the first period on a bouncer that beat the Zebras goalie five hole. The Rams added their second goal shortly after, as Rob Melissen batted in a rebound.
The second period was a high pitched battle with the Rams answering the Zebras physical challenge and managing not to battle the referees. The Zebras did cut the lead to one scoring with just two seconds remaining on a power play. But the Rams answered back decisively as Colin sprung Denny for a breakaway goal. The Zebras appeared to make things interesting, scoring just before the buzzer of the second to get back within one.
The Rams though weren't about to let that goal deflate them though as they put a defensive lock down on the Zebs in the third. And it was the Goat who ended scoring in a goal that personified the Rams effort as his second, third and fourth efforts were all there to get the Rams their two goal cushion back.
All in all, a satisfying win for the Rams who were all smiles after the game.
Posted by aetchells at 08:15 AM | Comments (10)
February 14, 2006
Boston University Owns the Beanpot
Once again, the Beanpot trophy will make its home at Boston University. Just under a minute after Boston College made it a 2-2 contest early in the third period, No. 5 BU notched the game winner on a power-play goal from tournament MVP Pete MacArthur en route to 3-2 triumph over the fourth-ranked Eagles on Monday evening at TD Banknorth Garden.
Czech goaltender Dominik Hasek made it safely to Turin, Italy, but his equipment didn't fare as well.
"Oh, I had some problems," the Ottawa Senators goaltender said Monday. "I don't know where it is. It's travelling somewhere in Washington, I believe."
Weather delays U.S. hockey team's Olympic arrival
Where a good portion of the American men's hockey team should have been gathered on Monday, there instead stood just two players.
With only defenseman Jordan Leopold and goalie John Grahame able to avoid the wrath of winter and find a flight out of the United States on Sunday, USA Hockey officials joked that perhaps Jim Johannson, a former minor-league player and now head of hockey operations, will need to suit up.
Posted by aetchells at 11:23 AM | Comments (0)
February 07, 2006
Rams look sharp in win over Blades
Denny, Chris, and Rob accounted for 6 goals, Zdaldo and Billy another 2, while Kevin posted 37 saves in the Rams 8-1 victory over the Blades. Some say the Rams scored more and Kevin saved less, but the hapless scorekeeper didn’t agree. The real news is that Townsend only managed to miss a few calls in the penalty-free nightcap. Next up, Green Parrot … bagaaack … that’s Green Parrot. Sunday, 2:50 pm. Fans want to know … will Carter sneak in?
Posted by aetchells at 10:34 AM | Comments (10)
January 29, 2006
Rams Stumble
Denny's first shift summed up the Rams effort last night at the Wintersport Ice Arena. As Denny went to line up for the defensive draw his feet went out from under him, neither he nor the Rams were able to get steadied the rest of the night.
With that being said though the game was tight throughout. The pivotal play coming on a 5-3 advantage for the Continentals. Off the draw the Contintentals controlled the puck and were able to complete a cross-ice pass and one timer past a flopped Denny and helpless Dowell.
The Rams brought it back to within one with just .5 seconds to play in the second as Chris banged home a rebound before the buzzer sounded.
But the Rams were unable to get the equalizer in the third despite several opportunities down the stretch. Next game is Monday the 6th at 10:50.
Posted by aetchells at 11:54 AM | Comments (8)
January 16, 2006
Rob Melissen Rules Former Team
Rob Melissen scored both goals for the Rams in a tight fought 2-1 victory over the Stealth. Rob who once played with the Stealth haunted his former teammates, first scoring via a tip in of brother Bill's shot. And then snipering the winning goal part way through the third. The Rams made the lead stand up the rest of the way despite some harrowing moments at the end.
The Rams record improves to 8-3-3 in the CML. The next game on the docket is Sunday at 4:30. Missing defenseman Carter Leading penalty minute getter Colin is on beer duty.
Posted by aetchells at 01:27 PM | Comments (2)
January 08, 2006
Rams Stop Colonials 5-3, Porn is Good
The Rams kicked off the New Year with a resolute 5-3 victory over the Continentals. Five different Rams scored as the squad ran out to a 5-1 lead before the Continentals tried to make a game of it. Both Dave Morasco and Mark "Snappy" Mitchell notched their first goals of the season and Dean Kline also tallied to set the pace. Rest assured though, Dean wasn't even trying to shoot when he scored from the right wing on the power play.
It's the Stealth next Sunday at 4:30 PM. Goat has beer duty!
Posted by aetchells at 01:52 AM | Comments (0)
December 19, 2005
A Christmas Story
On the Third Day of Christmas the hockey gods gave to us,
Three Hoagie Goals
Two Thor Tallies
and One Kevin Dowell Lit Up Like a Christmas Tree
Posted by aetchells at 09:55 AM | Comments (8)
December 09, 2005
Rams Battle But Fall Short
In a frantically played game the Ze-bras were able to out score the Rams 7-5. The Rams shook off some early rust and managed 40 shots on goal but it was the Ze-bras who were able to score down the stretch, including four in the third. The game featured less chipiness than the typical Rams Penguins showdown but there was plenty of intensity.
In other news it seemed Jenkins was ready for a heart to heart with Eddie.
Posted by aetchells at 10:23 AM | Comments (2)
December 01, 2005
Timebomb a No Show - Rams Roll
Timebomb was no where to be found as the Rams ran roughshod over Dev, Canuck and the rest of the Brewers 'squad. Billy Mellisen scored the hat trick to lead the way as the Rams thoroughly dominated enroute to an 8-0 victory. Melissen enjoyed his cans of Schaefer after the game almost as much as his hat trick during the game. Colin Baker was also awarded a can of delicious Schaefer after managing to stay out of the penalty box the entire game.
Kevin Dowell was solid, if a bit bored, throughout as he stopped twenty shots while getting his first shutout of the season.
With the B-leaguer barnstorm over the Rams get back to serious business next Thursday as they face the hated Zebras at 10:40.
Posted by aetchells at 02:27 PM | Comments (1)
November 21, 2005
Bagaaaack Rams beat Parrot Rams beat Parrot Bagaaaack
The Rams continued their b-league barnstorming tour with their third win in as many games, strangling the Green Parrot 6-2. Goals by Carter (2), Dean, Bernie, Aldo and an empty netter by Shoup. Collin got some penalty minutes as did Dean and Jamie (no longer Lady Byng candidates), and Aldo finally had an excuse for tripping over the blueline - new skates. Next game, wed 11/30, versus the Brewers.
Posted by aetchells at 11:31 AM
| Comments (2)
November 14, 2005
Matt Mimics Moniker
Matt "MVP" Coddaire lived up to his nickname, scoring a hat trick for the Rams as they skated past the Stealth 7-2. Coddaire was the big bear of the show bagging three goals for the Rams as they rolled to their third victory of the season. Coddaire, who was questionable for the game because of bad shoulder, credited some solid porridge he received last weekend in New York for fueling his stellar performance. Injured Rams defenseman Arthur Etchells remarked "maybe it was the bed that was just right.".
In any event Coddaire was just one of the stars of the evening as Billy Mellissen tallied twice against his former team and Kevin Dowell was solid between the pipes. Denny Schmidt showed signs of a bad skate sharpening, or perhaps several hours at Big Heads as each time he turned right he seemed to wipe out. But Denny recovered nicely for the fouth period bringing forty beers to the game and scoring a pizza later at the Blue Comet.
Posted by aetchells at 12:33 AM | Comments (2)
November 02, 2005
Rams dull Blades in 6-1 win
Denny notched his first of the year, Bern had two, Coddaire and Golin tickled the twine as did Colin, who also managed to stay out of the penalty box in the Rams 6-1 win over the Blades. “I didn’t want to go in the box,” said the towering defensmen, “I’d miss my friend Art too much.”
In a side note, Carter set a new record for shots at the top shelf in one period, as the Rams set a 2005-06 benchmark for attendance at one (yes, 1). The two events seemed to be related. “My girlfriend just said: ‘You guys are slow.’ “ Carter confided after the game. Rams front office is looking into a no-attendance policy for the remainder of the season.
Stay tuned for confirmation about Saturday’s skate at Wintersport with the flightless birds, and Tuesdays at Melody Brook.
Posted by aetchells at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)
October 24, 2005
Bandits Stop Streaking Rams
The Bandits thoroughly dominated the Rams en route to a 5-0 victory Sunday night. Few things went right as the Bandits handled the puck and the Rams with ease. Kevin Dowell was the lone bright spot of the night. Making several acrobatic saves to keep the Rams within striking distance but the offense never got on track. As forward Dean Kline remarked during the fourth period, "I feel like a Ram again." In other fourth period news, Carter, Chris, Denny, and Art closed Big Heads. Next game is November 1st at 10:40 PM.
Posted by aetchells at 10:43 AM | Comments (4)
October 16, 2005
Still Undefeated
In what can only be described as a testy affair the Rams and Zebras literally battled their way to a tie, the third straight for the Rams. But this time it was the Rams who battled back from a deficit, as Billy Melissen and Z-Daldo scored in the third to knot it up at four.
And as good as the hockey was the extracurricular action was on par, as both teams paraded to the penalty box en route to filling the each line in the penalty section of the score sheet. The Rams will next be in action Sunday at 10:40 versus the Bandits.
Posted by aetchells at 08:04 PM | Comments (9)
October 08, 2005
Rams Look Good in Tie
The Rams remain undefeated for the season as they pick up their second consecutive tie, this time against the Penguins. The Rams jumped out to a 3-0 lead only to see the Penguins score four consecutive goals. But it was Dean Kline who saved the game and the fourth period for the Rams as he scored his second of the game to knot it 4-4 with less than three to play.
Posted by aetchells at 09:16 PM | Comments (8)
September 26, 2005
Rams Remain Undefeated
The Rams and Bandits skated to a 5-5 tie last night. Both teams traded goals in the early going before the Rams were able to get a two goal lead at 5-3. But penalties make that lead impossible to hold as the Bandits scored the last two goals to knot the score. Chris Golin scored two more goals as he now leads the Rams with four. Denny Schmidt took a puck to the lip that was obviously going to require stitches and a lot of Buddyweisers. The Rams next game is Saturday October 8th at 3 PM against the Penguins.
Click for the complete statistics.
Posted by aetchells at 10:12 AM | Comments (5)
September 21, 2005
Rams Win Opener
WILLOW GROVE - The Rams beat the Continentals 5-1 last night in their season
opener. Solid all around play and patience helped provide the crucial 1st
Rams win over the defending champs. Carter Leonards scored the game winner,
and Chris Golin scored 2 goals to secure the victory in his Rams debut.
Kevin Dowell stopped 21 shots in his new sexy maroon belly jersey behind a
solid Rams defensive corps. Straight from the Goat's mouth, "the new guys
fit in really well, and they can hang in the locker room." The Rams look to
build on this momentum Sunday against their fellow green foes, the Bandits @
7:50pm.
NOTEWORTHY: Dave Kratzer's awesome old school helmet was de-faced
with a shitty produced STAPLES decal, that is now enforced by the league to
prevent sand baggers.
Posted by aetchells at 03:28 AM | Comments (13)
September 12, 2005
Rams Drop Pre-season Tilt
In the end the score was close but the play was more like back to back blowouts. The Rams were flying from the opening faceoff, buoyed by their new jerseys, as the Goat and his brother scored three times and the Rams jumped out to an early 4-1 lead. But then a crosscheck of Brian Jones by Bernie "Tim McCracken" Gillespie woke up Jones and his Penguin mates. Jones was certain it had to be Thor laying the lumber, Jones stated "once I saw it was that F*cking f*ckity F*ck Bernie, I had to get serious." The Pens did just that going on a third period scoring binge that saw the Rams lead evaporate. Jones led the comeback with three goals including the game winner.
The news wasn't all bad for the Rams who were dressed to impress with their new maroon uniforms, and it looks like Raz is ready to press Dowell for the goaltending duties. Veteran Rams defenseman Art Etchells noted "it was unlikely we (the Rams) would have put in five goals in front of Kevin. That just never happens." Elsewhere in the lineup newcomer Chris Golin fit in well, and part-timer Snappy tallied on a smart wrister in the second period.
The Rams look to build on the positives of this pre-season tuneup and as Gillespie said "this year, we make the playoffs. We can play with any team in this league."
Posted by aetchells at 03:22 PM | Comments (0)
May 26, 2005
Dan Rather Breaks Down the End of an Era.
Tonight on CBS!
There are many highs in Penguins history. The 2003 & 2004 Wintersport championships come to mind. As do all the times the team has hung out by Wanger’s car. But, as Dan Rather reports tonight, 2005 marks the end of an era. Has Jones rap career been a distraction? Are the team’s ties to the Taliban taking a toll? Is the locker room filled with penis envy? Did Jenkins shit in the cup last year spoil their taste for victory? It’s hard to tell. One thing is for certain, Rather shows, the Penguins are falling from grace.
Posted by aetchells at 02:28 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2005
RAMS WIN!!!
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Posted by aetchells at 01:54 AM | Comments (2)
May 18, 2005
Rams Stay on Task, Beat St. Joe's
Even the air horns, toot tooters, and angry drunks could not stop the Rams last night, putting up a solid 7-4 win over the elusive St. Joe¹s team.
"Our defense & goalie won the game for us tonight," said William the Goat,complimenting the Rams depleted blue line played by CollBake, "Allah" Leonards, and J.Shoup. This sets the table for Tuesday night¹s championship match up between the Rams and Penguins. The top seeds face off for the rights to the White Bucket in the First Annual "FILL YOUR HOLE BOWL" at WSC.
7:15pm face off.
Posted by aetchells at 03:15 PM
April 06, 2005
PhiladelphiaRams.com Voted Best Hockey Site
Roxborough – The PR department awoke to good news this morning at Philadelphia Rams headquarters. It seems, despite the rams lackluster play at times, the team has caught the attention of hockey-starved fans with its website, www.philadelphiarams.com.
After the Rams convincing 5-0 win over St. Joe’s last night, the first shutout win since sliced bread regained its popularity, the team celebrated double as Robbie Mell proclaimed “philadelphiarams.com is my new favorite hockey site.”
His sentiments are echoed by the competition, too, as Jeff Conybear of the Penguins said “Hey what’s your web address? I hear it’s funny stuff,” in an email last week.
A hit with diehard fans since its inception in September 2004, the site’s greatest hits include a goalie pad fund for Kevin (the Rams raised $.25 from a modest and undisclosed philanthropist), the much anticipated Zdaldo name change, commercials for Can/Am Montreal, and most recently an announcement for the new NHL, advertising for dime bags, and a titillating announcement about winger Corey “Playboy” Abrams going on the DL.
Watch for more exicitng stories about Carter bringing a 30-pack of Miller Lite next week.
Posted by aetchells at 02:29 PM
March 16, 2005
Smoke clearing after F’Bomb Blitzkrieg.
Wintersport — Bernie stood tall at center ice last night in the final moments of the Rams vs. Zebras tilt. The clock frozen at 9.9 seconds. Scored tied at 5. And the two referees conferring about the impending Zebras penalty shot.
Then Bernie opened the bomb bay and let them fly in grand fashion. F’bombs here, there and everywhere.
“Fuck you. You fucking, fuck.” The place exploded. The rubble left behind for the Rams’ fireplug centerman included a game misconduct, an unsportsmanlike conduct and probably a charge or two for child molestation.
But still, the zebras rejoiced. For they survived the bombs, shielded by their lack of respect for all things just and fair, and an array of elbows, slashes, slew foots and spears. It wasn’t enough that Billy beat up Ian Walsh, the NHL-ref who revealed his true stripes last night … ones that should be from a prison uniform. It wasn’t enough that after a brief family picnic in the crease, the zebras pigpiled Kevin and then pushed the whole mess into the net for their 5th and game tying goal. Nope, none of it was enough. Not Coddaire’s slapper. Corey’s tap in. Kratzer’s goal line bank shot. Two goals I can’t remember or didn’t see. Kevin’s 31 saves. None of it. For the outcome of this fucking game was decided long before it began. The Zebras would cheat their way to a win, scoring on the penalty shot that was the result of Dean throwing his stick in disgust.
“Their lucky I kept my clothes on,” he added. “This is reeee fucking diculous.”
The Rams managed to keep their heads high, acing two cases of beer in a tribute to good times, good friends, and a pretty good season, all things considering.
See you at Wissy.
- Dean Kline
Posted by aetchells at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)
January 20, 2005
Morasco Hat Trick: "Picture Perfect" Night
AP - For most it was a cold, snowy January night in
Nowhereland, Pennsylvania. But for one Dave Morasco,
this night turned into magic. The part-time
winger/photograph restorer/framer/and small business
owner turned in the hat trick leading the Rams past
the lowly Shamrocks 7-3.
Next game: vs. the Zebras Saturday, Jan 29 @ 10:30 pm.
Do we need a beer bitch?
Posted by aetchells at 12:08 PM | Comments (0)
January 13, 2005
Aldo Stores Expand Product Line
New York, New York — Corporate headquarters sites a decline in sales, but the cult that worships Aldo Brand knows better. The store has begun to sell barnyard sex toys because they mourn the loss of interesting lockerroom talk after hockey games.
“A few years ago, we talked about hot women and outrageous fun,” said a source under anonymity. “Now it’s about kids and heater hoses.”
But, fashion king Aldo himself says that while conversion has taken a decidedly domestic twist, he’s till happy to be part of the Rams organization.
“I get to test all my new product on them,” Aldo said following the Rams 3-2 loss to the Zebras. “Tonight, I showed my newest toy … the Udderly Amazing Beer Bowl. It’s great. They love that you get 4 teets in one toy. So now, four can drink at once. Genius.”
Rams faceoff Wednesday at 10 vs. the Shamrocks. Krazters’ bring the cans. And by cans I mean …
Posted by aetchells at 10:40 AM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2005
Nelson’s Advice Holds True, Rams Down Continentals 6-1
Willow Grove — The not-so-worldly Continentals fell victim to the Rams last night here at Wintersport Arena in beautiful Willow Grove, Pa.
For the Rams, the victory secures their first two-game win streak of the 2004-2005 campaign. And, oddly enough, the goal spurt comes on the heals of advice from Pete Nelson, Bandits Defense.
“Aldo,” said Nelson. “You guys need to bury more pucks.” So like pirates looking to hide treasure, the Rams dug deep in the second and third period tallying all 6 of their goals.
“The Rams came slow and so did I,” said the scorekeeper who had more than a little problems posting the Rams tallys, and who at one time had the game at 4-3. “But I really think the Continentals just didn’t change lines enough.”
Continentals Swedish coach Weel Playallgamesson launched a new strategy. While all coaches encourage their players to go all out every minute of the game, Playallgamesson was quite literal about it. “Oh yeah, umm, ahhh, ve had some chance early and zat line vas vorking for us, so I let zem play all game,” he said.
Rams look to turn the Zebras into dog food or glue Wednesday at 9:30 pm.
Posted by aetchells at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)
January 03, 2005
Rams set new attendance record, Lose 7-6
Willow Grove – Rams fans shouted for joy Sunday night as they watched the scoreboard here at Wintersport Arena.
“Guess tonight’s attendance” the announcer sang out. “A: 0. B: 1 C: 2”
The tension mounted.
“C,” said the lucky fan on bench 3 seat #8. “Two.”
“Yes, you win and the Rams have set a new attendance record.” But the night wasn’t all fun and games for the unprecedented showing of faithful.
The Rams spotted the Bandits 6 goals in the first period. However, the heroics of Carter Leonards and Kevin Dowell sparked a comeback. Leonards 3 goals and Dowell's flashy new pads led the way as the Rams climbed back to within one goal in the final moments.
“I felt bad for Dean,” said Leonards later. “He brought fans and we were getting spanked.”
You, too, can see the Rams and a return showing of Dowell’s new pads this Thursday at 10:40 when the Rams try to beat a second team: The Continentals.
Posted by aetchells at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)
November 08, 2004
Recap - Limerick Style
There once were some Rams from Glenside.
They lost 3-1 but kept their pride.
Carter scored their only goal.
And #53 is off to diving school.
Next time we play the Zebras, we'll tan their hide.
Posted by aetchells at 11:10 AM | Comments (0)
November 03, 2004
Shamrocks Lucky Charm for Rams
Wintersport - The Rams finally won a feckin' game as the Irish say, and it was "magically delicious". Billy Mellisen led the Rams with 5 goals in a 10-2 victory Monday night against the Shamrocks.
"they're always after me lucky charms" said Mellisen. "and I was determined to beat them off ... I mean win the game, finally" Another big scorer for the night was goalie Kevin Dowell, with his first assist.
Next up: The Zebras, Sunday at 5:40. "I'm excited to play the Zebras, again," said Dean Kline. "I can't wait to see what kind of crazy Zebra-F#%ing photo Arty can find next."
Posted by aetchells at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)
October 28, 2004
Bandits pillage Rams village 10-6
Wintersport – Blah blah blah, Rams were close in the early going … yada yada yada yada … Rams played well in the third … blah, blah, blah … Jamie puked and people were dizzy … yada yada yada … we still managed to have a few beers and a good time … blah blah blah … next game Monday, 10:40 vs. Shamrocks … yada yada yada … Art’s got beer duty … blah, blah, blah … bring your photocopied ID if you haven’t.
Posted by aetchells at 10:55 AM | Comments (0)
October 25, 2004
Now that's Improvement
WINTERSPORT - The Rams showed signs of improvement last night as Zdaldo brought an ample supply of beer for after the game. The cold Molson with its TwinAdveriting(TM) label technology was enough to take the sting out of a 4-3 loss to the Continentals.
After spotting the Continentals a 4-1 lead the Rams once again staged a late third period rally, but fell short in their bid to tie up the game.
"If only we could have had a working breakout, power play, and forecheck" commented a remarkably lucid Art Etchells, who had earlier bounced his head off the Wintersport ice.
The Rams don't have long to lick their wounds as they go for win number one, Wednesday at 10 PM versus the Bandits.
Posted by aetchells at 11:13 AM
October 18, 2004
Penguins and Rams Kiss
WINTERSPORT - The highly anticipated first match-up of the Rams and Penguins left both teams without a clear mandate to gloat. The Rams led 2-0 after two periods but the Penguins behind three goals by Brian Jones roared back to take a 4-2 lead late in the third period. The Rams then scored twice in the final minute to salvage the tie.
Posted by aetchells at 01:55 PM
October 10, 2004
Zebra Meat Leaves Bitter Aftertaste for Rams
WINTERSPORT – You can grill it. You can bake it. Toast it if you want, and drown it in maple syrup and brown sugar. But any way you slice it, the half-horse, half-ass Zebra meat the Rams had for Sunday dinner left a bitter aftertaste in the rams second defeat this season, 7-3.
“As soon as I come-to, I’ll recap the whole game … but basically we were tied after 1, gave up a few in the second, and a couple in the third. Billy scored two,” said a dazed Dean Kline after having his bell rung late in the third period.
What Kline didn't remember was the three goals and two assists the Zebras number 91 contributed.
Next game, Saturday October 16 at 5:20 PM.
Posted by aetchells at 10:25 PM | Comments (0)
October 04, 2004
Rams Roar Back to Take Penguins
It was the tale of two games. The Penguins raced out to an early 5-0 lead getting five goals from five different players. But it wasn't enough to stop the Rams as winger Billy Mellisen sobered up and completed his hat trick to lead the Rams over the Penguins in a scrimmage, 7-6. When reached for comment afterwards Mellisen was much more interested in recounting Raven's derriere than speaking about any of his goals.
Posted by aetchells at 05:13 PM
September 28, 2004
Rams Drop Opener
A short bench was too much to overcome as the Rams lost their opening game, 10-5 versus the Stealth. Only seven players were on hand for the opener as the Stealth capitalized on every break to stun the Rams. Dave Morasco's four point night was one of the few bright spots for the new Rams.
Posted by aetchells at 05:20 PM