Wintersport — Bernie stood tall at center ice last night in the final moments of the Rams vs. Zebras tilt. The clock frozen at 9.9 seconds. Scored tied at 5. And the two referees conferring about the impending Zebras penalty shot.
Then Bernie opened the bomb bay and let them fly in grand fashion. F’bombs here, there and everywhere.
“Fuck you. You fucking, fuck.” The place exploded. The rubble left behind for the Rams’ fireplug centerman included a game misconduct, an unsportsmanlike conduct and probably a charge or two for child molestation.
But still, the zebras rejoiced. For they survived the bombs, shielded by their lack of respect for all things just and fair, and an array of elbows, slashes, slew foots and spears. It wasn’t enough that Billy beat up Ian Walsh, the NHL-ref who revealed his true stripes last night … ones that should be from a prison uniform. It wasn’t enough that after a brief family picnic in the crease, the zebras pigpiled Kevin and then pushed the whole mess into the net for their 5th and game tying goal. Nope, none of it was enough. Not Coddaire’s slapper. Corey’s tap in. Kratzer’s goal line bank shot. Two goals I can’t remember or didn’t see. Kevin’s 31 saves. None of it. For the outcome of this fucking game was decided long before it began. The Zebras would cheat their way to a win, scoring on the penalty shot that was the result of Dean throwing his stick in disgust.
“Their lucky I kept my clothes on,” he added. “This is reeee fucking diculous.”
The Rams managed to keep their heads high, acing two cases of beer in a tribute to good times, good friends, and a pretty good season, all things considering.
See you at Wissy.
– Dean Kline
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